"Beauty From Pain"

What is going on in the world? I have talked to so many people lately that are having a very hard time in life right now, myself included. Now what I am dealing with is nothing compared to some of the things that others are going threw. It did get me thinking about the song form the band Super Chick (yes I am a huge Super Chick fan) Beauty From Pain. Several years ago when the song came out I was in a very bad and dark place in my life. I would listen to the song over and over and wonder when my beauty would come. I still wonder when it will come but I know that I am on the path to finding it. I do not think my true and full beauty will come till I have gone home to be with my God. Every day that I live and try to surrender to His will is taking me one step closer to my beauty. Even in the hart ache of this life we can still see some of the beauty that will come to use when we make it home. I think some of the beauty we see in this life is people being healed form their past, people loving others even when they know the true person, worshiping and serving God the way He made us to. I also think that we need to try hard at times to look for the beauty when life gets us down. If all we ever look at is the pain we will never see the beauty to inspire us to reach for more beauty. Even when we don't want to let go of the pain because it has been a part of us for so long. If we don't let go of the pain and reach for our beauty we are robbing the world of one more thing of beauty. We all know that this world needs more beauty in it and much less pain. So here are the words to "Beauty From Pain" I hope that they will help you as much as they have helped me.
"Beauty From Pain"
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Also remember God never gives us more then we can handle and when we let Him in, He will bring beauty from our pain.

To Soar with the Eagles

Jesus came that we may live life to the fullest. He came to heal not only are bodies but are harts and souls as well. He is standing in front of us with His arms open wide waiting to embrace us with His love. So often we think that we need to get are life in order so that He will take us in. The truth is that God wants us the just we are. That way He can bring His glory to clean us up and show the world that He make beauty from our pain. Jesus loved the people that the world rejected. People who the world has written off as junkies, failures, drunks, losers. He Himself was written off by the people He came to save on the day that He died for us. How great is His love when at any time He could have called down millions of angles to wipe us all out while he hung on the cross for our sins. How often do we look at what he did and say that was not for me. I am not good, I am not holy, and I do not pray as often as I should, I have not read my bible in weeks. We can not hide from God he see all that we do and loves us any way. God wants to take our pain and hurt all the bricks that people put on us as well as the one we put on ourselves to hold us down, that we may soar with the eagles. God loves a mess because He wants to clean it up. He wants the world to know that He is the master and can fix all things. We will never understand how He works if we look at the world with the eyes that we now have. We must see the world as God see it. While He knows our pain and the evil that we do. He desires to fix it and love each one of us. How many people have I written off, how many do I not love, how many do I hate? I need to see the world as God see it a broken place in need of love and healing. I need to put others first and lift them up, I also need to let others see my pain and let them help me. If we do not let others help us we rod them of the blessing of services and the joy of seeing a person healed by the love of God. Lets us embrace God and let Him teach us to soar with the eagles.

School

I must say I have found school to be harder then I thought it would be. I had no idea it would take up so much of my time and the things I would have to give up to do great at it. I also did not know I would be learning other things that have little to do with fashion but have a lot to do with leaning other tools to be a success in this journey. I have had to learn about Power Point which is something I had wanted to do for a while but never took the time to. I have had to learn more about Word then I ever knew you could do. Time management was something I was good at back when I did social work but I have forgotten all about that since I started working for Quality Container. I have to make choices to not spend time with friends so that I could do home work. I have had to ask for help from friends so that I could do my home work. I knew that when I started down this path some people would think I was wasting my time and money. I also knew that I had to try this to see if I had it in me. One of the most shocking things is some of the people who have come out to support me and tell me they think it is a great idea. I still do not know if this will lead me out of driving truck for work but I know that all the things I learn no one can take away from me. The hardest parts of the classes are just around the corner but I have no doubt that I will do my best and give it my all. Because at the end of the day I will remember that all I do, I do it for the One who has given me the desire and skill to do what needs to be done. As long as I learn something from this no matter what people say I have not failed.

And Now For Something Totaly Different

So after some heavy post, lets have some fun. So as I was heading to Orem today I started thinking I may be a hippy. No not David, he could never be a hippy you say to yourself and I thought the same thing. But as I gave it more thought I think I just may be. Lets look at some facts. I have been a veg for 6 months now.I have not killed any animals in over 3 years. I spend way to much time in a coffee shop.I have not been shooting in 5 months. I'm letting my hair grow out. I think that people should help each other. I just don't know what to say to myself. I still have some non-hippy things about me so do not worry to much. I still take a shower every day. I think that you should work if you want to eat. I did not veto for Obama. I still believe people should own at least 1 gun. But for the most part I think I have started down a path that may change all that. If you ever see me wearing tie dye please just shoot me.

Kill the Sarx

Warning this post rated PG-13!!
Kill the Sarx and hang him from your rafters. This is the chores line form the song Kill the Sarx by the band Scattered-Few. Sarx is Greek word for flesh.
For far to long my flesh has lied to me. Telling me that I am not smart or creative, letting me know that no matter what people will never love the real me. I must ware a mask so no one see the real me. I must lie so that people will think better of me. That I must hide my tears so they will think that I am strong. That I will never be more then a pile of shit. I have done too many wrong things in life for even God to forgive me, let alone love me. I will never be more then a simple person with little to say and that no one will listen or care any way. I am the same as I will ever be and that I will never be more then I am now. Why try to better yourself or take a chance you will fail like you always have.
You have been with me my whole life. You have filled my hart and soul with your poison. You have made me look at others and think if only I was like them they have it all. You have tried to kill me time and time again. When I would look in the mirror I would repeat your lies back to myself and start to believe them to be true. You told me that I am weak and not worth the love of any one and that the world would be better off if I would just die.
I have fought many battles with you. Some I have won some I have lost. God has given me the strength to win the fights that I have won. He is my strong fortes He delivers and heals me from the poison you would put in me. Against Him you will not stand. You will not have this day or any other day. You told me that I do not have what to takes to complete this new journey that I am on and that I will fail. When times start to look great for me you whisper your lies into my ears and tell me that those things are not meant for me for I am worthless.
Tonight is the last battle that we will have. Tonight I kill you and watch you die and hang you from the rafters. No longer will your poison be allowed to enter me; no longer will I listen to your lies. No longer will I feed you with your self serving sin. No longer will I allow you to sit on the thrown of my hart. That is a place of honor and glory for the one true God. The God who loves me and heals me. The God who will make me the man that He wants me to be. The God who loves me and wants to be known by me. He will provide all that I need He may not give me all that I want but He knows what I need better then I.
I know that you will not go down with out a fight but you are wasting your time. God is greater then you will ever be He is more loyal then any person will ever be. He will fight a million battles for my soul and never rest until I am with Him in His kingdom.
I am David killer of my sarx beloved servant and bride to Christ Jesus. He will have my soul and this day and all the days to come. No one can take me from His arms and no one can stand against Him.
He is the lover of my soul, the king of my life, the warrior how never surrenders. I am His and He is mine. The one true God who makes all things new and all things possible. Thank you my God and King for winning this battle for my soul. You are greater then all and I love you.

How Things Work Out

So, last night I had made plans to hang out with a friend of mine. As my friend lives a pretty crazy life with work and all; they had to cancel the plans we had made which did bum me out as I was looking forward to the time we would spend together. So I just thought I would spend the evening doing wash, home work and cleaning my place. Later in the day I got an email from another friend who is moving out of the state and was in need of some help as they are in a little over there heads with every thing that it take to do a move to a new state. I said that my plans were canceled and I would meet them after work to help out. What I thought would only take an hour or so ended up being an all night thing. I must say that even thou all my plans had not gone as I had seen them I had a great time helping my friend. Even thou we did not get a great deal of stuff done we had a great time talking and just spending a little bit of time together before the move. I was able to see how other members of the body of Christ also blessed this friend. Now to be honest once the first plans had been cancel I was looking forward to the new plans as I have a lot of things to get done before Monday. As many people know life is full of things that you never see coming some good, some bad, and some just the way things work out. I am still in the same place as needing to get things done and maybe even a little bit behind which means I will not be doing any thing fun tonight aside form a trip to Jitterbug Coffee (my new favorite hang-out) to put this on the net. I would not trade last night for all the homework, wash, and cleaning time in the world because I got to spend some time blessing and being blessed by a friend and see them get a little stress lifted off of them. It is pretty crazy how God can make things work out even when you don't see them coming.

Blessing

So my good friend Court has been visiting are great state for the pass week and a half. It has been great to see her and spend some time with her see always make me smile. It did get me thinking about the blessing she has been in my life and of all the great blessing I have. I live a country where I am free to do many great things like go to a church of my choice or not to. I have a great little apartment with landlords that I can trust and have helped me out. I have great friends that put up with all my crap and still like to hang out with me. I have a great relationship with my family witch I know many people do not. I'm working for a good company that takes care of me and I am a respected member of a great church. As I am writing this I'm sitting in a coffee shop drinking and having dinner? How many people in the world won't even eat tonight let alone eat out. I know that when I die I will see my Lord and God face to face I am truly blessed to live this great life.
To many times people look at what they do not have in life and think that if I only had a new car, a girlfriend / boyfriend a better job or home then I would be happy. But the truth is that while the things will make you happy for a short time they will never bring you joy. Because you will always want for more or newer or bigger. True joy in life can only come from one place and that is God. Are happiness is up to our self and how we choose to look at the world. I could make the choice to look at all the things I do not have and feel sad for my self or I could look at all the great things I have and know that I am blessed because I deserve none of it.