Something to just make you laught.

One day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span o f twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.


On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like t he Dog did?'

And God agreed.


On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Life Lessons

1. The best drink is the one had with friends; the worst is the one had alone.
2. People you love will hurt you it is just part of being human.
3. Never prove the Bastards right.
4. Life is in the way you look at it.
5. God loves to fix a mess.
6. Real men cry.
7. To know love you must know pain.
8. If someone gives you something say thank you and nothing more.
9. God loves you just the way you are. You don’t need to change for Him. He will change you in the way He wants to.
10. Love yourself so you can love others.
11. The grass is never greener on the other side.
12. Healing hurts but is worth all the pain in the end.
13. Learn from your mistakes and remember your success.
14. You are not the worst person in the world.
15. You are not the best person in the world.
16. To love God you must love man. To love man you must love God.
17. Looking good helps you to feel good.
18. Never turn love away it does not always come back.
19. Don’t give the negative voices in your head more worth then the voices of love form your friends.
20. If you own a truck plan on helping friends move.
21. Be flexible with your plans. Great things come at you without you planning it.
22. You can’t plan blessings.
23. Guard your hart but don’t wall it in. You may not be able to tear the walls down once they are up.
24. Just because someone says they love you does not mean that they are “in love with you”.
25. Don’t change for anyone but God or yourself other wise you are wasting your time.
26. Be who God made you to be not someone else.
27. Don’t let anyone but God and you define who you are.
28. Don’t hold back forgiveness it only hurts you.
29. You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with God and other people, to know and be known.
30. Every sinner has a future and every saint has a past.
31. Speak the truth in love other wise you are just an ass.
32. Listen then think and if need be speak.
33. In the end God wins.
34. Take some risks in your life. You may win you may loose but you lived.