Do the Voices Ever Stop?

I have had great and successful year. I went back to school and got straight “A”. I have grown closer to many friends. I continue to be an active and respected member of my church. I have fought with and beaten many of my demons and have taken many chances in life. I have learned the truth about who I am and have learned to love that person. I know who and what to listen to now. So why do the voices still haunt me? With all that I have done and learned why do thought of self destruction enter my mind or worse why do I sometimes thing that I should have pulled the trigger a few years back. I know that I am loved by many people but the voices still tell me that I would never be missed and in the very dark times that the world would be better without me in it. I know that I have things to give and a life to share but does anyone can to share it with me. I keep going on so that the bastards will not be proven right about me. Some times it is the only thing that keeps my going. Why are my hart and mind so discounted, I can know the truth in my mind but still not feel it in my hart. When my hart cries that is when the voices came. I yell at them to stop and they do for a while but they always come back to haunt me and whisper in my ear their lies. I so want then to be silent forever but I don’t know if they ever will. If God is the great healer then why do I still feel the pain? Why do I hate myself more then any other person at times? Why won’t the voices stop and shut up forever? Will I ever be able to win this fight and make the voices stop or will they haunt me the rest of my life?